Welcome, once again, to the Northern Blights – the northernmost podcast! OK…that is probably not really true, but it could be! Anyhoo…Jennifer, Jill, and Amanda are on location at Jill’s house situated along the Chena River. It is a beautiful 85 degrees, and the sun is shining. They discuss such topics as the disadvantages and advantages of living far away from family, as well as Amanda’s rejection of the belief that zombies do not and will not ever exist, among other random thoughts. Towards the end of the podcast, the world is introduced to a gaggle of kids as they trickle in to get out of the hot sun. Be sure to check out our new intro and outro music, and listen carefully for the dulcet meows of Tom, the cat.
Northern Blights Episode 3, Part 2 picks up right at the end of the discussion about the odd lyrics of nursery rhymes, and how we blindly sing them without questioning them. Amanda’s friend and Boomer, Dorothy Snodgrass stops by to discuss the perils of diabetes, as well as her love of Subarus, comfortable shoes, and roast beef. Dorothy also tries out some material for her blossoming stand-up career.
In this two part episode, Jill, Jennifer, and Amanda discuss generational differences, but, of course, they get distracted by tree sap and Pinterest…among other things.
There is a shameful plug for the hottest new fashion blog on Instragram, called NathanMaren.
There is also a special shout-out to Lindsey Saunders and her wonderful blog called Sew Much HeArt. Please check out the amazing outfits she puts together from thrift store buys. You will be impressed.
Welcome back to Northern Blights! In episode 2 Jenn, Jill, and Amanda discuss things we don’t like that society dictates we should like, as well as random thoughts about how Santa’s sleigh stays upright while hovering, and why if humans had teeth like the T-Rex our dental bills would be a lot cheaper. Also, ten-month-old Elizabeth Hanson makes her podcast debut at the beginning and end of the podcast. If you listen close enough, you just might hear her.
Finally, a podcast from Alaska that is worth listening to. Introducing Northern Blights – The Podcast! NB – The Podcast is a discussion on what it takes to live in Fairbanks, Alaska, as well as other random topics that are spawned by tangential rants. Hosted by Jennifer Waterman Taylor, Jill Rosholt, and Amanda Hanson, Northern Blights is a thought provoking, sometimes explicit, yet entertaining romp through the minds of three women from varying backgrounds. Please sit back and enjoy the experience that is Northern Blights – The Podcast.
Today’s show introduces Jennifer, Jill, and Amanda to the world. We also have a rousing discussion on the common misconceptions about living in Alaska, with a few tangents sprinkled in about Tyler Perry movies and Lisa Bonet’s life partners. Enjoy!
We are still in the beginning stages of this podcast. Eventually, it will be available on iTunes. Until then, please listen to our link on WordPress. Thank you!
It has been a while since my last post, but I had a baby not too long ago, so SUE ME! Anyway, on one of the few nights that my husband and I actually got to go out sans kids, we saw the re-release of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Of course, the movie was awesome, but as I sat in the theater watching a room full of snakes, listening to the iconic punching sound, and watching that big Nazi get food-processed by a propeller, I reminisced about all the guy scientists I have worked with out there who try so hard to be as bad ass and Indy. So here is my plea to the delusional:
Dear Modern Male Scientists,
You are not Indiana Jones. You never were Indiana Jones, and you never will be Indiana Jones.
You are the epitome of the surfing term, “poser,” with your tan ExOfficio shirt with rolled up sleeves, your cargo pants, and your vest with many pockets. You top off your ensemble with the chapeau straight from Brooks Brothers that is known to so many. When you get in the field you stand proud in your get up with one hand protecting you from the sun as you span the horizon, while your other hand is in a loose fist resting in the small of your back. You stand proud because you are a scientist. You are gathering data. You are of the noblest profession somewhere between bus driver and Pope, and you think you look just like the Archaeology professor so many female students pine after.
But here is the main difference between you and Indy. You are a Class A Wussy with a capital P. You don’t carry a whip – you carry permits. You don’t carry a revolver with you because that might be dangerous, despite collecting data in remote areas with very large animals that could possibly eat you. You rely more on peer reviewed papers than on guts and intuition. Did Indiana Jones care if he had to take a crap in the woods? Did he ponder the effects of pepper spray verses a 44 magnum? Short answer? NO! He was a man’s man, and he was not afraid to gather data despite obstacles.
Another difference between Dr. Jones and Dr. Asshat (i.e., you, the delusional Modern Male Scientist) is that you can’t handle confrontation. What did Indy do when he was cornered by Beloch and the Nazis? Did he go running to his HR rep at the University of Chicago? No. He stood there tied to a pole and waited until everyone’s faces melted or heads exploded. You probably wouldn’t have even ventured on an excursion to find the Ark of the Covenant because the possibility of offending Nazis would be too uncomfortable.
But I think the biggest difference between you, real male scientist, and fictional awesome scientist is that Indiana Jones did not become Dr. Jones in order to have three more letters after his name. He acquired knowledge in order to pursue and study objects. He wasn’t a parrot that repeated other people’s results as his own. He was aware that the title of Doctor allowed him to teach, but at the same time was an afterthought. I have observed that the best research professors were the ones that were subdued. They were the ones that didn’t care that they had a PhD. They were brilliant and smart and funny, and they didn’t care if you called them by their first name.
So I implore you, Modern Male Scientists, to throw your hat, your vest, leather jacket, and cargo pants into your costume box (because in my universe everyone has a costume box), and just be yourself. You are not Indiana Jones. No one is. So stop trying. You look silly. Besides, if you are going to imprint a fictional persona, Peter Venkman is way more interesting.
So I have been lacking in the blog writing for a few weeks, mostly because I can’t find the energy being 9 months pregnant, and all, and partially because I’m lazy. So I thought I would at least post some working titles that I will, hopefully, be posting in the near future. Feel free to let me know which titles you would like to read first. Enjoy!
Waiting to Expell: How dinosaurs farted themselves into extinction, and other tales of Scientists’ flagrant use of Global Warming to get grant money
Wooden Spoons: Weapons of Ass Destruction
Dolphins: Nature’s Frat Boys
PhD Students and Superglue Don’t Mix
Sometimes People are Dumb…Myself Included
Zipper Socks and Red Salt…Ideas of a Genius, or of a Madman?
GET OFF YOUR DAMN CELL PHONE WHEN IN SOCIAL SITUATIONS…and other advice for high school and college grads
Well, that is all I have for now. Stay tuned for more from Northern Blights.
Hello, My people, or…person
I know that I have been away for a few weeks, but having typhoid, the consumption, and malaria running through myself, husband, and daughter for the last month soaked up all my blogging time. But I’m back, baby! So please enjoy the next post.
This was an actual conversation at work:
EMPLOYEE: Hey, Boss! Have you ever heard of Paul Potts?
BOSS: Paul Potts?
EMPLOYEE: Paul Potts.
BOSS: Paul Potts?
EMPLOYEE: Yeah, Paul Potts.
ME (laughing to EMPLOYEE): Hey, Employee, it sounds like you are asking if Boss has heard of Pol Pot.
BOSS: Yeah! Pol Pot! That is what I thought you were asking me.
EMPLOYEE: Pol Pot?
BOSS: Pol Pot.
EMPLOYEE: Pol Pot?
BOSS: Yeah, Pol Pot.
ME: Ahh! Seriously? (To BOSS) Paul Potts is a British man who won Britain’s Got Talent! (To Employee) Pol Pot was a dictator of Cambodia!
EMPLOYEE and BOSS: OHHHH…gotcha.
ME: (Sigh…and laugh)
I love my place of employment, and, no, I’m not being sarcastic.
Here is a great review of the movie Pearl Harbor. Banana ends her review right before the attack on the Hawaiian base…probably because she either fell asleep while watching it on a plane, or because the movie from that point on is the only part of the movie worth watching. Either way, enjoy. I hope to get some more recent movies reviewed as soon as possible.
Hey! I was on a flight the other night, watching Pearl Harbor and I thought I’d give it the old Avatar treatment.
Kate Beckinsale’s character has almost no redeeming characteristics. She’s just a really pretty opportunist.
Every accent is terrible.
OK, the cinematography is kinda amazing, but why is everything taking place at sunset?
Ben Affleck is an awful actor.
This needs at least 35% more Jennifer Garner and Cuba Gooding Jr., and about 48% less Jamie King.
Oh good. John Voight is in this. That worked well for Anaconda (he’s actually kinda fab as FDR).
Ugh the CGI is so amazing in this. It angers me.
I want all the nurses to die. Which is good, because most of them do.
Tom Sizemore is in this, as well. So that’s something
Who let Kate Beckinsale up in the light house so she can read the love letters her pushover bf sends her? It seems that someone is shirking his/her duties.
The Japanese drums are amazing. I would have no idea how to read the tone of the Japanese scenes if the drums weren’t there.
They call Ben and Josh “Aces,” but you have to have five kills to qualify as an ace. They hadn’t even seen combat, yet. So much research went into this, and yet that slipped through.
Yay! Cuba Gooding is here! Sweet temporary salvation!
“Why do you have to fight with your fists?” um, because it’s effective?
Jamie King, stop blubbering like an idiot. You didn’t even know Ben Affleck.
Oh yeah! Dan Akroyd! Hooray! So I think I like this movie, but I hate all the young white people.
Ugh when does everyone get blown up? I AM SO BORED BY THIS PLOT!
So the love of Kate’s life just died and she’s already being flirty with his bestie? I hate her so much.
I’m a little jealous that Kate gets a free ride in a military jet. She leads a very charmed life.
Pearl Harbor: where romances develop way too fast, and plot points develop way too slow.
THEY’RE HAVING SEX ALREADY!? THEY’VE ONLY HUNG OUT LIKE TWICE! And this is 1941 hang outs, not 2011 hang outs. I HOPE SHE DOESN’T GET KNOCKED UP OH WAIT I SHOULD PROBABLY KEEP WATCHING.
Everyone can die in a fire. Wait, there will be lots of fires? EXCELLENT.
Oh, Hawaii. So pretty. You make me forget about how awful this movie is.
All the military stuff is so cool. I’d like to re-edit this and just have the war stuff.
So am I supposed to believe that Ben was shot down during mid day, but he surfaced from his plane in the darkest pitch of night? OK, sure.
“You died. That meant I could sleep around, right? No? I gotta go. I gotta thing.”
STOP CALLING HIM AN ACE! HE IS NOT AN ACE! In fact, I think he didn’t even get a single kill before he was shot down like 5 minutes in.
OK, bored again. More death, please.
HAHAHAHAHA the Japanese have calendars with English characters? Where would they even get a bi-lingual calendar and what possible use could that serve? Michael Bay, we know when Pearl Harbor happened. When they say they’re a few hundred miles away, we get that it’s probably close to Dec 7.
I’m pretty sure the Japanese are the best part of this movie.
OK, enough with the snark for a bit. We’ve reached the 30 minutes of the movie that make it completely worth watching.
Oh, Banana, you never cease to make me laugh with your snark-filled reviews.
When I decided to move to Fairbanks, Alaska, I heard all sorts of myths about the state from people who didn’t live there. It is amazing how much people think they know about a place they have never been to. Here are just a few of the myths that I was told about living in Alaska:
Alaska has its own currency
This one cracks me up. There are people in the “Lower 48″ (a.k.a., the contiguous United States) who actually think that Alaska has its own currency. Yes, because one of the 50 states in the Union has its own currency. Wow. Hey, moron, Alaska is not its own country.
Alaska is dark twenty-four hours a day
False. Even on the shortest day of the year, the sun comes up and we get some light. It doesn’t last long, but we do have sunlight. The thing that gets me is that people never talk about the twenty-four hours of daylight that we do experience in the Summer. Now, that will blow your mind. I can take the darkness, but the constant light? You just can’t get away from that. But don’t get me wrong. I love coming home from work to another 8 or so hours of daylight.
Everyone lives in igloos in Alaska
This is just silly…and totally not true.
Polar Bears and Penguins not only live together, but wander the streets
Why do kid movies and commercials consistently show polar bears and penguins living together in harmony? Polar bears live at the North Pole, and penguins live at the South Pole. THEY DO NOT AND WILL NOT LIVE TOGETHER…EVER! OK, maybe in a zoo, but that doesn’t count. And polar bears don’t just wander the streets…at least not where I live.
Everywhere in Alaska is just like the show “Northern Exposure”
First of all, Northern Exposure wasn’t even filmed in Alaska. It was filmed in Washington. Secondly, THERE IS NO SUCH PLACE AS CICELY, ALASKA (although it is based on Talkeetna, an actual small town in Alaska). But the entire state is not like “Cicely”. Alaska has actual cities with sky risers and gang violence, and performing art centers, and symphony orchestras.
Alaska doesn’t have electricity
Again, people underestimate how big this state is. There are remote cabins in the middle of nowhere that do not have electricity or water. But the major cities, towns, and villages have electricity. Now, running water? That’s a different story.
Everyone in Alaska loves Sarah Palin
Hate to break it to you, but this is simply not true.
Everyone in Alaska hates Sarah Palin
Hate to break it to you, but this is simply not true.
Alaska is an island next to Hawaii
How many times do I have to see Alaska nestled right next to Hawaii in the Pacific Ocean on weather maps on those crappy morning “news” shows? Answer? EVERY TIME! This is why people think Alaska is an island. Not only that, but the size of the state is scaled down. Alaska is almost as large as 1/3 of the contiguous United States. It is twice the size of Texas, and, yet, it’s miniature sits floating in the Pacific just a little northeast of Hawaii. This is also why people don’t realize that Alaska borders Canada. I mean, that perfectly straight line on the east side of the state should tip people off that maybe it isn’t an island, but when it is surrounded by water on all sides, I guess I can see why people get confused. And I LOVE how weather reports only have one temperature for the entire state. That is like having the temperature in Los Angeles dictate the temperature for California, Arizona, and Nevada. Yes, I realize that Alaska is far away, but there are United States citizens that live there who are just as important as New York State residents. Can we try a bit harder to make Alaska seem a little bit significant, crappy morning “news” shows?
It is Winter all the time in Alaska
Every Summer I get this question at least once, “How cold is it, up there?” Umm….about 80 degrees F. Yes, the snow does, indeed, melt…even in Alaska. What do people think, that we are living on the polar ice caps? Cripes!
Alaska is the South of the North
Well, you can thank the media and Sarah Palin for this one. Since no one had practically heard of Alaska until 2008, and the media HATES Palin, they had to come up with some way to describe Alaska in a negative light. I mean, Wasilla can’t compare to the sophistication of Chicago. And since there are so many people willing to accept Alaska as full of racist, Christian, Harry-Potter-book-burning, redneck lumberjacks, since that is what they were told throughout the campaign, it is no wonder that Alaska might as well be snuggled up close to Louisiana.
If you move to Alaska you will turn into a lesbian
Hey, Ladies! Did you know that once you cross over into the state of Alaska you automatically become a lesbian? This HAS to be my favorite gem. I was actually told this as a warning when I was planning on moving up here. To this day it is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard. But I have to remember that the person who said this to me is the same person who said the following when I voiced that I wanted to buy a truck: “Trucks are for guys and gays, not for girls” (“gays”, of course, meaning lesbians). So lets delve into this a bit deeper. First of all, it is a warning. How insulting is that? Apparently, Ignorant Fool (that’s what I am calling this person from now on) thinks that being a lesbian is bad enough to take heed. It is akin to maritime warnings of not sailing into uncharted waters for fear of sailing off the edge of the earth, or not befriending someone because she might be a witch. Secondly, crossing a state boundary does not a lesbian make. If I visit Utah, does that make me a Mormon? And thirdly, this says a lot about this person’s thoughts on lesbian stereotypes. Ignorant Fool has a view of an Alaska that is so harsh that a woman living up there will have to chop wood, wear clothes that don’t exactly show off her figure in the Winter, stop wearing make-up, chop off her hair, start wearing combat boots, and drive, dare I say it, a truck. Therefore, this said woman will no longer be attractive to members of the opposite sex, and bingo bango – lesbian. LESBIANISM DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY! And besides, that theoretical woman I described is actually quite attractive to the members of the opposite sex up here. I have been living in Fairbanks for 11 years. I met my husband up here and am expecting my second child. I guess the lesbianism hasn’t quite kicked in, yet.
I am sure I am missing some juicy misconceptions, but for now, these are the ones that stick out in my mind. Of course, if there are more that I forgot, feel free to let me know.